Now that you’ve disposed of the physical evidence, it’s time to wash your hands of the whole affair. It’s never been more important to wash your hands properly. Do it wrong and the coppers can catch you red handed — and you could catch all sorts of fun diseases.
My sources tell me you should be washing your hands regularly anyway, but what do I know. I’m just here to keep you out of the big house.
Fun Fact!
It’s a common misconception that water temperature and soap type matters. In reality, regular soap cleans just as well as anti-bacterial soap, and don’t get recalled by the FDA nearly as often. Water temperature doesn’t affect germs any more than cold water, and will just dry out your skin.
The Method
1 Palm to palm in circles.
2 Backs of hands with opposite palm.
3 Between the fingers by interlacing.
4 Back of your fingers by rubbing them on the palm.
5 Thumbs.
6 Fingertips into palm to clean fingernails.
7 Wrists.
8 Rinse and dry.
The Science
Forensic science has been around since Song Ci wrote Xi Yuan Lu in 1248, but DNA evidence, like the blood you just washed off your hands, wasn’t relevant until 1984. Blood was always an issue, especially after Paul Uhlenhuth invented a method to distinguish animal blood from human blood in 1901, but It was Sir Alec Jeffreys who used genetic evidence to solve the murders of two teenagers.
It doesn’t take a large sample to obtain DNA evidence, so sanitation must be done with extreme care.
You should also avoid any genealogy services, like 23andMe and Ancestry.com. Commercial DNA databases may have privacy protections, but commercial databases do not. Avoiding them yourself isn’t enough either. 60% of white Americans can be tracked down using the same familial search that caught the Golden state killer in April 2018 according to a study done by Columbia University. And that number can only rise with time.
As of November 1, 2019, the rules around the police accessing these databases limit them to violent crimes and human remain identification, and disallow the practice of creating a fake profile to find a suspect’s relatives or looking up gene related disease or psychological issues, although those polices only apply to Department of Justice agenciesand local agencies with federal funding. And, of course, how much you trust the police to comply with those rules is your own decision.
The Good News
Even if you miss a few flecks under the fingernail, all is not lost! Partial DNA evidence in your home is hard to analyze accurately, and impossible if you do a good enough job on the rest of the cleanup that the coppers can't get a warrent.